In the face of a slip-up or setback, many of us tend to be our own toughest critics.  Rather than dusting ourselves off, taking note of the lessons, and getting back on the horse, we instead sulk, beat ourselves up, and remain stuck in a swamp of discontentment.

When we indulge in self-pity and refuse to move past the past, we jeopardize both our present happiness and our future fulfillment.

Failure is not something that any of us can avoid --- nor should we, necessarily, as it provides us with some of our best opportunities to learn and to grow.  Fortunately, there are numerous ways that we can work through and beyond our failures in a healthy and productive manner.

Below are three steps you can take to make failure fruitful:

1. Openly and humbly own your misstep.
   

   In a lot of ways, the first hill to climb in overcoming failure is that of acceptance.  Whatever your reasoning, when you’ve said or done something in error, you have to confront the consequences head-on.  Make your choice:  Will you continue to pout and conjure up excuses?  Or will you take responsibility and rise to action?
   
   
   • Transparency with yourself and with others conveys that you take your slip-up seriously. It shows that you’re self-aware, earnest in your concern, and eager to improve.
     
     
   • Take a frank look at what preceded your mistake, and with an eye to the future, consider how a different choice might have led to a more positive outcome.
     
     
   • Recognize the impact of your words or actions --- not just on yourself but on those affected by your decision.
     
     
   • Confide in a trusted loved one and ask their thoughts about your misstep. They’ll be able to recognize your blind spots, and any corrections or observations they make will likely be offered gently.

2. Work to right the wrong.
   

   As much as possible, try to mitigate the negative effects of your mistake.  With the benefit of hindsight, respond now as you wish you had from the beginning, and take this opportunity to learn and adapt.
   
   
   • If your slip-up affected another person, begin by offering a genuine apology. This is an indispensable step toward reestablishing trust and rapport.
     
     
   • Without becoming consumed by it, resolve to remember the impact of your error, so that in the future you’ll be less likely to repeat it.
     
     
   • Consider how you ought to rectify the situation. Make sure that your solution is suited to the need.  For example, if your mistake had financial consequences, work to restore any loss that resulted from your decision.
     
     
   • Wisdom comes from experience --- and particularly from our failures. Don’t let your newfound wisdom go to waste.  In the future, try to steer others in the right direction so that they don’t become victims of the same pitfall.

3. Having acknowledged your misstep and sought to make amends: Move forward.
   

   Afford yourself a dose of grace as you reorient your focus from your mistake to the opportunities that lie ahead.  Then, get after it!

Don’t let failure have the final word.  As Winston Churchill once mused, “Success is the ability to move from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm.”  With every failure, we increase in knowledge, maturity, patience, humility, and perseverance.  That growth, in and of itself, is a success.